Atlantis slash


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Atlantis kageygirl

Signal-to-Noise Ratio

Title: Signal-to-Noise Ratio

Author: kageygirl

E-mail: kageygirl@gmail.com

URL: http://www.kageygirl.com

Feedback: LiveJournal

Archive: Ask first.

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Rating: G

Feedback: Please and thank you.

Disclaimer: Have they been to the planet where the wearing of clothing is punishable by death? No? Then they ain't mine. No money being made here (though if the producers wanted to run with the "clothing=death" idea, I hereby cede all rights to it).

A/N: Extreme silliness.

Summary: They would have been wise not to make enemies of the Genii.

"Unscheduled offworld activation." Peter looked up at Elizabeth as she stepped up behind him. "We have an incoming transmission, but it's not from either of the teams in the field."

Elizabeth nodded to him, curious. "Let's hear it."

An overly cheerful voice came over the speakers. "To the people of Atlantis: my name is Mylaus, and I've been paid to give you a message. However, this message is only to be delivered in person."

Peter looked appropriately skeptical, and Elizabeth frowned a little as she crossed her arms. "I'm sorry—we have a shield in place, and we can't risk dropping it for someone we haven't met."

"Oh, I understand that," the voice—Mylaus, apparently—said quickly. "But this message is accompanied by an offering of tasty delicacies from the sender."

"A candygram?" Peter murmured.

Elizabeth felt her lips twitching, but she kept her voice carefully neutral. "Thank you, but I'm sorry. We can't let you through."

The disembodied voice turned wheedling. "I've heard your people are interested in other cultures. I myself have knowledge of many fables about the ones you call 'Ancients' that I'd like to share with you."

"That's very kind of you, but we won't compromise our security for that." She tried not to roll her eyes, because that would be childish. And it was important to maintain a professional demeanor about potential threats to Atlantis.

Behind her, someone muttered, "Landshark," and one of the technicians giggled.

Elizabeth turned to see John lounging against the life-support console, smirking.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, turning back to address the communications console. "The Genii put you up to this, didn't they?"

There was a long pause. "Why would you say that?"

Another voice behind her chimed in, "Because we're not—I don't know—complete idiots?"

And there was the other one, of course—he hadn't been there a minute ago, but she was completely unsurprised. She gave Rodney a "Let me handle this?" look, and he straightened next to John, looking briefly guilty. John, far too amused, grinned at Rodney.

Clearly, they didn't have enough work to do. She made a mental note to move their team up in the rotation for exploring the city. Maybe they could stay out of trouble that way.

Sighing, she addressed the pick-ups on Peter's console. "Thank you for the effort, but I'm afraid we're not dropping the shield. If you truly have a message for us, you can tell us now. If not, good-bye." She gestured to Peter to shut off their end of the transmission, and after a few minutes, the wormhole disengaged.

"You could let a few of them walk into the shield. That might deter the others," Rodney said. She saw John give him a grimace at that, and Rodney winced. "Sorry. But it's not like we can change our phone number." He brightened again. "Though we should really think about trying to get some of those bribes they keep offering us…"

Elizabeth tuned out John's comeback about Rodney's appetite and walked past them, heading back to her office. On second thought, better to have Sheppard's team out looking for a ZPM.

She'd be happy to have an escape plan in place when the Genii developed email.