Atlantis slash


Stargate Atlantis (including the universe, the characters, and all related images and logos) is copyrighted by SciFi and MGM. No copyright infringement is intended or should be inferred. No money was made from the writing or posting of any content on this fan site.

kageygirl's site is maintained by kageygirl.

Atlantis kageygirl

between the lines

Title: between the lines

Author: kageygirl

E-mail: kageygirl@gmail.com

URL: http://www.kageygirl.com

Feedback: LiveJournal

Archive: Ask first.

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Pairing: McKay/Sheppard

Rating: G

Spoilers: through "Siege 2."

Beta: mmmchelle did lovely beta-y things to it. She rocks. *g*

Summary: He doesn't know when the beginning was, exactly.

In that moment when all the lies end, he will think back to the beginning—or try to; he'll think that he doesn't know when the beginning was, exactly, and that maybe they've been beginning and beginning and beginning without ever really starting.

He remembers when they met ("I just sat down"), but it couldn't have been that early.

He can't forget how they just parted ("So long, Rodney"), but it happened long before then.

It must have been somewhere in between the two, but he has no idea when or how long ago it was. If he were prone to idiotic romanticism, he might think that he'd felt this way for as long as he can remember.

He wonders what he'll feel when the blast goes off and he's alone again. He doesn't know if he'll feel anything at all, if it will hurt or if he'll just go numb.

("Well, at least your mouth still works fine.")

Maybe he'll just go mad and never know it, never hear the snap when sanity fails him. It won't matter, anyway, what he feels, because he won't feel anything. He'll be vaporized in a plume of nuclear fire.

("Get as far away from the nuclear explosion as possible—that's good advice, Rodney, thanks.")

No, he thinks. He won't go mad. He's not that lucky.

He'll be in agony, but he'll be functional. It would be a relief to collapse, to break down, to let someone else deal with it all for a while, but Atlantis has made him tougher; Atlantis has made him too strong to fall like that again.

("You must have passed out.")

He hates her for that, because he knows he'll go on. Because he'll have to. Because they'll still be in danger. Because that's what he'd want him to do, and if he doesn't, his sacrifice will have been pointless.

("I was going to say… take care of each other.")

He hates him for that, for not having the decency to leave him time to grieve.

In that moment when all the lies end, he will hate and he will love and he will hurt and he will see that there are no lines between them, just as there should have been no lines between them, and he will curse them both for ever thinking they needed to be drawn.